Bellaire Retreat I

A writer looks at 70

I have retreated to the woods of Bellaire, Michigan. A long-time friend graciously allows me to come here to write and hide from the world. This is the first time this summer, and this retreat is much needed.

There is much to be done as I must finish editing of 600 Acres (so it can be rejected by every agent and publishing house!), blog posts to complete, letters to write, and September Literary Walk to mail. And yet there will be time for “indolence” while I am here at this retreat.

“Indolent” is a word I am mulling around this morning as I merely sit and listen to the sounds of the world outside. I woke early but still just laid in bed — warm, comfortable, and nothing aching — and thought. There were a thousand different thoughts — nothing patterned or meaningful — just thoughts. When I did rise and dress, I merely sat in a chair and did another hour or so of “indolence.”

It was not what I did — It was what I did NOT do!

I did not hear the cacophony and strife of the world. I did not hear MSNBC telling me repeatedly what a “fucking fool” Trump is (Yes, I know he is a fucking fool and a danger to the country that I love and support). Joe, Stephanie, Nicole, Chuck, Chris, Rachel and others you say the same thing over and over — and too damn loud. (But if you didn’t have MSNBC, you would have to find another job — working as a janitor or short order cook)

I did not hear phones ringing and people jabbering. It was quiet, and I was indolent.

I have many sins and weaknesses, and my friends and family can list them — they are too polite to do them to my face — EXCEPT MY WIFE, but “lazy” is not one I think anyone will label me. I was raised to work and have always have worked. (Now with teaching door closed, I am struggling with having no “assigned job.”)

LAZY NO — INDOLENT YES

Indolent comes from the Latin —dolere — to suffer or to give pain.

So this morning I am indolent — avoiding suffering and pain.

I am enjoying the quiet and savoring the natural sounds of the world around — the wind and birds. AND most importantly, the quiet.

I dream.

I remember.

I reflect.

I wonder.

And yes, I will write.